Love, Money, and the Conversations That Bring You Closer
Money has a way of showing up in relationships whether we invite it in or not, but it doesn’t have to be a stressor. For many couples, money conversations are not only wanted, they’re some of the most important conversations they’ll ever have.
Whether you’re newly dating, settling into something serious, or building a life together, money has a way of shaping plans, expectations, and trust. And while it’s often treated as awkward or off-limits, new research suggests Canadians are more ready for these conversations than we might think.
In fact, 94% of Canadians say they want money struggles to be easier to talk about. That’s not reluctance, that’s willingness. It’s a clear signal that people want openness, clarity, and better communication when it comes to finances and relationships.
Early Dating: Learning How Each Other Thinks About Money
In the early stages of a relationship, money conversations don’t need to be formal or detailed. They often show up naturally, through how dates are planned, how people talk about work or goals, or how comfortable they feel spending.
These early moments are less about numbers and more about perspective, values, priorities and expectations. How does each person view stability? Is planning ahead important to them? How about spending versus saving?
That context matters because finances are closely tied to confidence and identity. Research shows that a significant share of Canadians, particularly younger adults, question their self-worth because of their financial situation. Knowing that helps explain why money can feel personal and why approaching it with curiosity rather than judgment makes such a difference.
At this stage, conversations work best when they’re honest, curious, open-ended and low-pressure, helping both people feel understood rather than evaluated.
Growing Together: Transparency as a Trust-Builder
As relationships deepen, money becomes more visible and starts to play a more practical role. Shared experiences often come with shared costs, and future plans start to take shape. This is where honest conversations can be especially powerful.
More than half of Canadians with debt say having debt can feel like a red flag in relationships, which explains why openness can feel vulnerable. At the same time, 58% of Canadians say financial infidelity (hiding spending or debt) feels just as upsetting as romantic infidelity. That contrast highlights something important: trust grows when people feel informed, not surprised.
This stage could be a good time to talk about:
How you each handle ongoing expenses
Whether you prefer keeping finances separate, shared, or a mix
Any stress points that could affect future plans
These conversations don’t need to be perfectly timed or perfectly worded. What matters is setting a tone where honesty feels safe.
Talking about money at this stage isn’t about having everything figured out. It’s about reducing assumptions and creating clarity. Many couples find that even small conversations about how expenses are handled or what transparency looks like can go a long way in building confidence together.
Long-term Partnerships: Keeping the Conversation Going
In longer-term relationships, money conversations often become part of ongoing planning, they shift from disclosure to collaboration. Budgets, goals, and priorities change over time, and revisiting those topics can help couples stay aligned as life evolves.
Because finances are tied to self-worth for so many Canadians, these conversations benefit from a shared, team-oriented approach. Rather than focusing on perfection, couples often find it helpful to focus on progress, flexibility, and mutual understanding.
Instead of asking, “How come you spend like that?” try, “What do we want our money to support?”
Instead of focusing on what’s missing, focus on what you’re building together.
The strongest financial conversations aren’t one-time events, they’re check-ins that grow and adapt alongside the relationship.
Why This Matters, Now More Than Ever
Nearly all Canadians agree that money struggles should be easier to discuss. What stands out most in the research isn’t fear or avoidance. It’s readiness. Canadians overwhelmingly want money conversations to feel easier, more normal, and more constructive.
That’s good news.
It means talking about money doesn’t have to be a source of tension. When approached with openness and care, it can strengthen trust, reduce stress, and support better decisions together.
It’s also important to remember that you don't have to have everything figured out before starting the conversation. Once you’re willing to be honest about where you are and where you’re going, many find that honesty often matters more than the numbers themselves.
In relationships, love doesn’t always have to look like grand gestures or perfect plans. Sometimes it looks like open conversations, the kind that help you feel more secure, supportive, and connected.
And money, handled with empathy and transparency, can be part of that, not a barrier to it.
This article is for informational purposes only and is not intended as legal or financial advice
